Dad's Dead

I don't really know what I want to write about but I do know I want to write, so bear with me.  I need to do something I like and that generally makes me feel good.  You see, I just finished working on our budget.  Fuck me.  What budget?  I just made an executive decision and we will not be paying the phone bill this month.  It is all up to date, so I can miss a month. 

This always seemed funnier on Roseanne.

Remember when she would send a cheque for bill payment but not sign it and then feign innocence/ignorance when the phone/gas/power company called?  I do.  I thought it was high-larious!  Now it's me.  Except I do all my banking on the Internet and NBC or ABC or whoever it was, isn't footing the bill or playing a laugh track.

It's just me.  And the cat who's perched on the top shelf of the desk glaring at me as I type.  She can fuck off because I spent $10 on her sister's special "Sensitive System" cat food today.  For a tiny little bag.  Which also makes me think of my former profession and how people would wonder at those who were financially limited and their associated affinity for pets.  Pets they couldn't necessarily afford.  In my defense, I could afford them when I got them...

I applied for a job yesterday.  A job outside of my home that will necessitate professional dress and make-up.  Every day.  I highly doubt I'll get it but on the off chance that I do, I'm torn.  It would be nice to be a 'professional' again but I think some of the folks I live with are enjoying and benefiting from my current profession of managing this household.  Today they enjoyed homemade sugar cookies and got to spend time decorating and eating them after school.  Then we chilled and watched a couple of recorded episodes of American Idol.

My youngest wore his Spider-Man costume for the entire day today.  And then proceeded to fall asleep at the table after his cookie snack. 

He's livin' the life.  We all are, sans cash.

And the budget isn't as bleak as it looks there on black and white.  There is some income I left off as it is unpredictable but I know it will be there.  All is not lost.  My husband is starting a new, maybe temporary, maybe not, job next week.  There is a silver lining.

No laugh track though.  No Jackie screaming "DAD's DEAD" into the phone.  No Darlene.  No Dan.  Not even Becky.

Just us.