Worth the Wait

This is my third attempt at writing this post.  The first one I deleted accidentally, the second one was too whiny and self-serving.  So here I go again; Round Three.

I want to start by saying how frustrating it is for me, personally, not being able to post daily as I did for most of the summer.  I am exceedingly grateful to all of you who follow me and comment and have stuck with me through thick (this summer) and thin (the present). 

So I no longer work full time but cannot find the time or energy to post daily.  What I neglected to account for was the full tilt schedule our family runs on September through November.  There is football, soccer, swimming lessons and hockey.  I am also running a bit of a home-based business.  So between that and the kids' extra-curricular activities, every evening and weekend are currently spoken for.

At times I'll start writing a post in my head and then abandon it because I either don't have the energy and/or the time to get it down 'on paper'.  For instance, I took part in a Bridal Show this weekend and that would've provided some great material but now, it's gone, lost in the abyss of the twenty million things I have running through my mind at any given moment.

Yesterday was my day off from my part-time gig.  You know the one where I wear my uniform, stand for the entire shift and negotiate the strange and mysterious workings of the 24 Hour Clock.  That job, turns out, while easy-peasy brain-wise, is beginning to wreak havoc on me physically.  Sore feet, sore legs, sore hips...no fun.  Then to top it all off, my first day off, Sunday, I spent at the Bridal Show, also on my feet, in heels, assaulting women with jewelry.  That did not help the sore-ness factor. 

And yesterday, my second day off, was spent trying to save our home from being featured on an upcoming episode of Hoarders.  So now my back, neck and shoulders hurt too.  I am not a neat-freak.  I may have mild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but trust me, this house needed cleaning.  I was merely trying to achieve a state of cleanliness that would allow me to walk barefoot in my home comfortably and enter a bathroom without gagging.  No search for perfection here, just livability.

I know I'm not alone.  I know there are a number of you who are in the same boat. Running from one day to the next; eating standing up if you're eating at all, washing floors when you'd much rather be either playing with your kids or napping.  Or maybe even eating a warm meal while seated...

I've heard it's possible.  Sometime after your youngest child moves out and the oldest one moves back in. 

For the time being, I'll settle for the fact I got to watch a full episode of Ellen this morning and the shared memory of my daughter and I, both belly up to the counter last night (I've taught her well), eating freshly baked (by her) peanut butter chocolate chips cookies.  Not speaking but instead standing side by side staring out the window basking in the perfect combination of cookies and milk.  It was a mere five minutes that made the day a little more bearable.

And today's measure of bear-ability will be somewhat improved upon knowing I got a small piece of the day to write.  For me.  And for you, but mostly for me.

Hopefully it was worth the wait.

Mere Moments

It's twenty to eleven.  I should be in bed.  Vision blurred thanks to the removal of my contacts; donned in only a t-shirt and underwear (you'll well remember my refusal to sleep in the buff); book inches from my face.  I'm tired.  And yet, here I sit filled with a false energy.

The house is quiet.  All of the kids are in bed and all of the pets are sleeping.  SportsNet blares in the living room and I'm sitting in the dark lulled by the clicking of the keys as a I type.  I've been made fun of more than once for my notoriously 'hard' typing. I've tried a softer touch but before long find myself banging away again.  I get a sort of satisfaction out of the banging and the sound that results.

You guys are dirty.

Today was a long day.  My first day back in the workforce.  I am, of course, more than a little wary of blogging about work at this point so that's all I'll say.  I worked for four hours.  Outside of the house.

Then I came home and laundered, cooked, cleaned, bathed and read stories.  Then I watched a crazy episode of 'Hoarders'.  One that made me question Sir Patrick's real desire to be child-like forever.  Too many episodes of 'Criminal Minds' watched in this home and too many years spent in a dark profession.

So now I am eking out a few mere moments at the end of the day for myself.  Before I do it all over again tomorrow.  I know I am not unique in this situation; far from it.  There are so many women, in particular, who battle the day away only to find solace at the end of the day in a book, in the tub, on the TV or in a darkened room lit only by a monitor.  It's those few moments where we can think about ourselves, even if only fleetingly.   Where for a second we feel like a person and not a cog in the wheel of everyone else's lives.

Good Night.