I put a question mark behind the title because I'm not sure how temporary this state is. I am tired. This is a recurring theme. I seem to have reached a new level of exhaustion and I can't even blame it on work anymore. I don't work a 40 hour plus week anymore. Not outside of the home anyway. Yet last night I was in bed by quarter after 8. I read for a little while and then it was lights out somewhere around 8:30 and yet, I find myself fighting the urge to either be-head someone or cry.
This could be due in part to the fact that around 12 a.m. my three year old made his nightly appearance in our bed. I took him back to his bed by 1 a.m. and roughly an hour later I was on the couch having given up sleeping with fucking Shrek.
Shrek is my husband. Who has some serious sinus or adenoid issues because the snoring is getting out of hand. Yesterday morning I gave up and went and slept in my daughter's bed. She was out of town so I had roughly an hour of silent sleep there. I currently roam my house at night searching for quiet and slumber.
My arms are literally tired from trying to hold them up to type this. I have zero energy.
My husband? Rolled out of bed sometime after 8. He then huffed and puffed for awhile because the dog pissed on his jacket. Not good behaviour on the dog's part but at least it saved me from having to do it.
Do I hate him? No. But motherfucker if that guy can't sleep his way through life. There is nothing short of mind numbing pain that he can't sleep through. Until whatever time he pleases. You know how a lot of adults say they can't sleep in anymore? He is not one of those people.
I am. Although given my current state I think I could actually sleep in. It feels like I could sleep for days and not be rested. There are still Christmas cards to mail, presents to wrap, a meal to plan, baking to do and don't forget actual work. Oh and I'm not done shopping yet either.
This is not a good time to be fading. Yet here I am. Faded.
Shortly I will leave to take my oldest child to the orthodontist and I will be hitting Starbucks first to get a White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha. Artificial energy is my only friend at present.
I am considering giving up all together and letting my youngest sleep with my husband and just taking the kids bed. Why? Because when I went back to my room this morning they were snuggled up like two peas in a pod despite the fact that my husband continued to sound like he was choking on a fucking chainsaw. The little man slept right through it. So perhaps they'd be better off together and I can sleep a whole night through in Jr's bed.
Worth a shot? I think it might be. It's that or manslaughter charges...I plan to plead not guilty by, you guessed it, reason of temporary insanity.