Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Mitigating Factors

As we all well remember, and for those of us who don't, head back to the beginning and read 'The Jig is Up' and you'll be caught up to speed; I was fired.  Or in their terms, 'terminated' on July 27.  However I had one final meeting last Friday as to the state of said termination and any potential wiggle room regarding acceptance of a resignation as an alternative to being terminated and thereby completely fucking up any chances of me working in that field again.

There is no wiggle room.  There is not even any tight shuffling room.  And this?  Made me angriest of all.  Of all the meetings I've been involved in since the end of June in regards to this blog and that career, this is only the second time I've had to fight back tears.  The first meeting I was less successful.  This is likely because that meeting was spent voicing my concerns and frustrations within said career.  Because hating aspects of it or not, I cared, a lot, about what I did.  And I'm afraid that's what did me in.

When I was terminated though?  I was cool, calm and collected.  Unfazed.  Not even slightly rattled.  I was polite and professional.  I flashed them my winning-nest of smiles and thanked them for their time. 

However this last meeting when we discussed non-existent flexibility in terms of my job loss status?  I fought a good fight and did not shed a tear in front of them.  Why was I emotional?  Because they decided there were no mitigating factors in reference to all that has taken place.

And that is where I beg to differ.

Never mind I worked there for ten years and was held in pretty good favour by co-workers and community members alike.  Never mind I worked ridiculous hours and fought with all my heart to do what I thought was in the best interest of others and put my self and my family on the back burner.  Never mind I ate shit day after day because I thought that what I was doing meant something and was for the greater good.  Let's leave those things right out of the equation.

What should we talk about?  Lack of direction given?  Or lack of support provided?  Should we talk about time-owed or time stolen?  Or should we talk about plain old insubordination and the consistent clean up of others' work time and time again?


Why aren't we talking about any of these things?  Can someone tell me why?

Never mind.

I think I know the answer to that question.  Nobody wants to look at the bigger picture.  I was made an example of.  A good one at that.  Often known for working hard; again the long hours, lots of travelling, the tendency to get worked up when fighting the 'system' on behalf of someone else.  I had been there for ten years.  Generally had a good reputation.  On the other side of that?  I am opinionated and passionate.  Those two things when combined with frustration do not an easy employee make.  I am also intelligent.  Add that into the mix and it's a great big bowl of Shut the Fuck Up from their point of view. 

I was reprimanded at this final meeting for posting about having been terminated.  Funny, because I assumed once my ass was fired I could pretty much do whatever the fuck I wanted because they do not own me anymore.  For the first time in, at the very least, four years, my mind, body and soul are again my own.

I sleep at night.  I speak to my family members instead of barking at them or asking them to just "please (not to) talk to me".  I have trouble, at times, blogging because I'm not angry all of the time anymore.

I'm just me.  The girl with a Bachelor's Degree that is pretty much useless at present.  The girl who had a career but now has none.  The girl who now punches a clock, wears a uniform and a couple of times a shift, sweeps the floor.  A girl who, when done sweeping the floor and punching the clock, walks out without a worry on her mind.  A girl whose marriage is improved and whose husband is adamant she should never go back to work there even if it were an option.  A girl whose children are again her priority and don't have to complete with a job for my attention, my energy; for me.

A girl.

And if my one anonymous follower is them?  It's time for you to leave now.  We are done. 


  1. Oh man, it's never fun to login to people's blogs on days like this. I'm sorry you are going through that right now. Really sorry. I wasn't let go at my job, but in the past couple weeks half of the workforce was laid off and I've watched a lot of good friends that I've had for many, many years leave.

    God bless you. Bright things are around the corner.

    Single Dad Laughing

  2. If I had lost my job due to a lay off or something of that nature it would be hard but not as hard as losing my job because of my blog. That's not fair. Who am I to judge?

    Job loss, however you look at it is hard but really I could have prevented what happened to me. I chose the blog though. And I don't regret that.

    And finally, Thank You for your kind words. Much much appreciated.

  3. You are one tough gal, and I happen to think you kick some major ass.

    Pardon me while I worship you from over here.

  4. You are pardoned. And thanks.

    Really, truly, thank you.

    Feeling all warm and fuzzy instead of tough at present.

    I have my moments, you know, being a girl and all.

  5. On behalf of everyone who has had your very same experience and donated every part of their existence to that life sucking job... thanks for having the integrity to say what everyone else who has ever worked there wants to and not give in. You have more guts than I could ever get up in my life... which is why I will still post this anonymously.


  6. IS, whoever you are and I may have an idea; you're welcome. Guts and integrity earned me a name tag and a broom but at the same time, a sense of peace and well being I thought I'd never see again.

    Thank You for your comment. I like it.

  7. Ya, i think that they are stocking, er, I mean watching your blogs now that you have been fired, that is just creepy. I am also happy to hear that your 'simpler' life is so much better! Very encouraging. I think you will end up in management if you stay at your present job for any amount of time! (JD) just so you know who I am, not an anonymous stocker.

  8. I feel like I don't even know you anymore! Can't wait to meet you... again?

  9. JD, I knew it was you and not a silly stalker. Thank you though for your kind words and ongoing support!

    Dee...I'm not sure if it's a good or bad that you feel like you don't know me anymore? In any event I hear we may meet up at Christmas? Hope so.

  10. That really sucks ass.

    Sounds like you are better off.

    I honestly believe things happen for a reason.
    Even though sometimes you dont see them clearly at first. Eventually they will reveal themselves.

  11. Oooh girl, this post gave me goosebumps. I know people hate hearing it, but don't you love when "everything happens for a reason" really shows itself in your own life? Obviously you and your family are happier now. It's definitely going to be tough, but you have a supportive family backing you up. : )

  12. Sara, I like you. I don't hate hearing that at all because I think it's true. Supportive family and great blogger friends. Absolutely fabulous blogger friends.

    Lori-Couldn't love you more if I tried!

  13. Soccer Mom, you are absolutely right. I am so better off! Thanks for your comment.

  14. Okay. I kinda hate you and your perfect life right now!! Sleep?!! Are you kidding me? You are such a Bitch!
    Just kidding. You are an inspiration to all of us that continue to torture ourselves and our families by staying in a job that sucks the life out of you.
    Kudos to you Ang!! We'll have drinks in a couple of week to celebrate the new and improved you!!

  15. Leba, you are speaking as though you know me but I'm not sure who you are but I'm up for drinks anytime!

  16. Just before I read this, I re-read the blurb under your blog title. I am glad you haven't forgotten that!! Again, so sorry for the crap you have been dealing with. For anyone who is reading this from the company that has always remained nameless and the type of work done there will never be known by Penny Lane's readers, move on! You said what you needed to say, you did what you needed to do and how Penny Lane reacts to it all is really none of your concern anymore, now is it? If you find her so interesting that you can't stop reading her blog, then maybe you weren't ready to let her go. LET IT GO!

  17. Nikki? I think I just fell in love a little bit (with you, in case you missed it).

    Three cheers for Letting it Go!!