As we all well remember, and for those of us who don't, head back to the beginning and read 'The Jig is Up' and you'll be caught up to speed; I was fired. Or in their terms, 'terminated' on July 27. However I had one final meeting last Friday as to the state of said termination and any potential wiggle room regarding acceptance of a resignation as an alternative to being terminated and thereby completely fucking up any chances of me working in that field again.
There is no wiggle room. There is not even any tight shuffling room. And this? Made me angriest of all. Of all the meetings I've been involved in since the end of June in regards to this blog and that career, this is only the second time I've had to fight back tears. The first meeting I was less successful. This is likely because that meeting was spent voicing my concerns and frustrations within said career. Because hating aspects of it or not, I cared, a lot, about what I did. And I'm afraid that's what did me in.
When I was terminated though? I was cool, calm and collected. Unfazed. Not even slightly rattled. I was polite and professional. I flashed them my winning-nest of smiles and thanked them for their time.
However this last meeting when we discussed non-existent flexibility in terms of my job loss status? I fought a good fight and did not shed a tear in front of them. Why was I emotional? Because they decided there were no mitigating factors in reference to all that has taken place.
And that is where I beg to differ.
Never mind I worked there for ten years and was held in pretty good favour by co-workers and community members alike. Never mind I worked ridiculous hours and fought with all my heart to do what I thought was in the best interest of others and put my self and my family on the back burner. Never mind I ate shit day after day because I thought that what I was doing meant something and was for the greater good. Let's leave those things right out of the equation.
What should we talk about? Lack of direction given? Or lack of support provided? Should we talk about time-owed or time stolen? Or should we talk about plain old insubordination and the consistent clean up of others' work time and time again?
Why aren't we talking about any of these things? Can someone tell me why?
I think I know the answer to that question. Nobody wants to look at the bigger picture. I was made an example of. A good one at that. Often known for working hard; again the long hours, lots of travelling, the tendency to get worked up when fighting the 'system' on behalf of someone else. I had been there for ten years. Generally had a good reputation. On the other side of that? I am opinionated and passionate. Those two things when combined with frustration do not an easy employee make. I am also intelligent. Add that into the mix and it's a great big bowl of Shut the Fuck Up from their point of view.
I was reprimanded at this final meeting for posting about having been terminated. Funny, because I assumed once my ass was fired I could pretty much do whatever the fuck I wanted because they do not own me anymore. For the first time in, at the very least, four years, my mind, body and soul are again my own.
I sleep at night. I speak to my family members instead of barking at them or asking them to just "please (not to) talk to me". I have trouble, at times, blogging because I'm not angry all of the time anymore.
I'm just me. The girl with a Bachelor's Degree that is pretty much useless at present. The girl who had a career but now has none. The girl who now punches a clock, wears a uniform and a couple of times a shift, sweeps the floor. A girl who, when done sweeping the floor and punching the clock, walks out without a worry on her mind. A girl whose marriage is improved and whose husband is adamant she should never go back to work there even if it were an option. A girl whose children are again her priority and don't have to complete with a job for my attention, my energy; for me.
And if my one anonymous follower is them? It's time for you to leave now. We are done.