Monday, November 22, 2010

Hiatus Interrupted

So I've been fielding a few complaints about the lack of blogging.  Well, I think I'm back.  I've had a number of interesting and fun occurrences happen as of late and so I shall start to share.

First of all I went to Bassano last weekend to visit some family and put on a jewellery show.  Had a lovely time visiting with the ladies and such.  Then, my cousin took me out for a night on the town.  In Brooks.  For those of you not familiar Brooks is in Alberta.  It's not a large place by any means but is fairly close to Calgary.  I was not at all prepared for the diversity Brooks offers....

Everything from minorities to the inbred and one Lonely Lesbian.  I loved every minute of it.  Moose Jaw, the bustling metropolis from which I currently hail, is lacking diversity in a very real way.  This town couldn't get whiter and furthermore, that's the way the majority of the population prefers it.  This is Redneck Utopia.  People are openly racist and homophobic without any real fear of backlash.  And maybe the minorities living in Brooks face racism as well; in fact I'm sure they do, but that being said, the night was beautifully diverse. 

People were dancing.  Men were dancing with each other because they simply wished to dance and no one with breasts were available.  And the best part was, they didn't get beat up or mocked for it!  In Moose Jaw, I cannot guarantee the same would happen.

Usher was there.  Okay, so he's not actually Usher but this man has clearly spent some time admiring and modelling Usher's moves and did so with style and aplomb last Saturday night.  His Asian counter-part for whom I have no nickname, strutted his stuff in a cage at the second bar.  Yes, a cage.  No, I did not get in the cage.  I did however offend a shorter 'stockier' lady who seemed to think I had my eye on her man.  This man is a friend of my cousin's and I did indeed dance with him.  In a totally platonic, non-sexual manner.  There was no grinding.  I'm 33 and a married mother of four.  I don't grind.  There was more than respectable amount of space between us.  However, Mama Cass Jr. suspected there was more to it than met the eye and started throwing herself at me on the dance floor.  With that, I let my dance partner go and he was promptly embraced and ground upon by this woman.  She even treated him with a little booty shaking and displayed one of the biggest tramp stamps I have ever seen.

Lucky man.

So not sure if I mentioned it or not but my cousin is beautiful and has a body most woman would kill for.  She is also THREE WHOLE MONTHS OLDER than I am.  Still I found myself waiting inside the first bar while she ran back to her vehicle to get her ID.  She was actually ID'd.  I, however, WAS NOT.

That's all I have to say about that.

I made earlier mention of the inbred and a Lonely Lesbian.  The inbred boy bore an eerie resemblance to those mutants from The Hills Have Eyes.   He seemed comfortable enough with his lot in life though and made up for his unfortunate DNA by sporting a nice big belt buckle.  The sensibly dressed woman who moved from table to table in an effort to make friends?  Struggled but was soon accepted by some Trailer Park Boys-esque looking folks and all was well.  I have no confirmation she is indeed a lesbian but in any event it appears being a minority in Brooks is slightly more acceptable than being a gay woman.  This is unfortunate.  Is there any place in this world that is entirely inclusive?  Is there any society that supports such a thing?

This is a more serious topic for another time.

And in other news:  I quit my job!!  This is fantastic and I believe now that I quit I can divulge where I worked...Superstore.  For those of you not familiar, Superstore is a grocery store but with much more than food and I was lucky enough to work in the Electronics Department.  My supervisor has one of the tightest mullets I've seen in some time and a strong love of all things Disney.  I worked with a multitude of asshole adolescents and illiterates.  The best part of this job was the mindlessness of it and one of my co-workers who is an exceptionally hard worker and a great lady.  I'll be sad to say good bye to her but the a-hole teens and even more ignorant customers?  So long fuckers.

And now?  Well now I have a lovely new opportunity.  And that's all I'm going to say about it.  Well that and I'm extremely excited and thrilled.

So blogging will resume on what I hope is a fairly regular basis.  I'm also looking for any takers on a road trip to Brooks...


  1. Congrats on the new venture! What joy it must have been leaving Superstore (which is such an unoriginal name). I have visions of the extremely boring store that Jennifer Aniston worked at in the movie 'The Good Girl'. I'm guessing there were no Jake Gyllenhaal look alikes.

    Your adventures in Moose Jaw are hilarious - you have such a way with words.

  2. How exciting to have an adventure. Life is too short to deal with dumbasses.

    Congrats! and so glad to see your back.

  3. Comments from Kitties, I love it! Kittie Flyn, joy doesn't even begin to describe it! Very very appreciative of the work while I had it but even more grateful to need it no more. Your Good Girl reference is right on the money, as is your Gyllenhaal related guess! Thanks for your continued support, you rock.

    Kitty Cat, Thank You and yes and yes!

  4. Welcome back! I've missed your humour and hilarious perspectives on daily life.

    Chicken Little

  5. Thanks Chicken Little. It's driving me nuts that I can't figure out who you are and I really think I should/do know on one level or another. Arrggh.

  6. WELCOME BACK! Yayyy! Congrats on the new opportunity! I am soooo curious but I know you won't give details! Grrr..!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!

  7. Thanks Nicki!! I missed you! Happy Thanksgiving to you friend. Us Canucks celebrated it about six weeks ago, but thanks all the same!