Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Rewards for Good Behaviour

Okay, so I worked my ass off today.  Seriously, getting off this chair causes me to grunt and groan like an obese senior.  I'm not trying to be mean, that's just the facts ma'am.  Why am I in such poor shape?  Because I spent hours weeding today. One side of our driveway is gravel and the weeds reign supreme every summer and every summer I convince my husband that we should actually pull them instead of auditioning as extras for the Trailer Park Boys.  This year though, I am at home, so I decided to do it myself.  And now? Now I want to fall asleep on the couch with a half-eaten Kit Kat protruding from my mouth.  (I said lips, but some of you who read this would take it in a whole other entirely inappropriate, albeit funny, direction).

I am quite proud of my hard work.  I waited for my husband to get home and comment on all the hard work I did.  Then he came home and I waited some more.  Then finally I said, while staring at the screen, "Did you notice the driveway?"  He responded, as if talking to a five year old, "Yeeess".  I know you did fucker, you park your truck on that side.  Why am I so upset?  Because if he remembers to change the toilet paper roll, I am expected to first verbally acknowledge his brilliance, masculinity and sheer brawn, then provide a certificate, embossed with the Gold Seal of "I did something" on it and also making note of the sheer size and animal power of his forearms, and then?  I probably have to have sex with him.

And what do I get? I get, "yeeess" spoken like he did notice and he also noticed I didn't even have one accident today and I learned all my colors, including purple.

He's currently preparing supper, completely oblivious to the silent ranting happening mere feet away.  And then later? He'll probably say something nice and I'll feel slightly guilty for writing this but is that going to stop me from posting it?  No. I'm not that mature.


  1. LOL........isn't that the truth!

  2. Yes, sadly it is. I'd like to kick every one of those marriage expert people who say you have to make your husband feel appreciated if he helps around the house. Take the extra step to let him know he's appreciated...when do we get that? Grr. I'm still obviously in quite a mood!

  3. Hi there! Newly following you (found your comment on Alfie Lives Here blog and laughed). I look forward to reading your entries!

  4. Hi there back Nicki. Thanks so much for following!

  5. Hi Penny, weird, I also saw your comment on Brahm's blog and decided to follow you after reading your last post.

    It is absolutely spot on!

  6. Haha, it's how us guys are. We live on appreciation for little stupid things and remembering to notice anything outside of our little bubble is impossible because of your XY chromosomes. Don't be mad. Just make him do it next time.

    Single Dad Laughing

  7. OMG, that is so my life!!!!!!!
    My husband is always oblivious to the "silent ranting" He never knows he is in danger. lol
    they only seem to notice if you DON'T do something.

  8. As a husband, if I do not get rewarded with cookies, pats on the head and a new toy every time I do something helpful around the house, then I sulk and pout and won't eat my vegetables at dinner time.

    I am a precious snowflake.

    Now excuse me, but Spongebob is on.

  9. SDL, your XY chromosomes are a good excuse for hair growing on your face, chest, etc. For being oblivious, not so much. Yet everytime my husband or one of my 3 boys does something boneheaded, I attribute to their penises. I love them though. (the boys and husband, not the penises). Well. Nevermind.

    Thanks Annie!! I always love a new follower!

    And Sherri? I don't know how many of us girls don't live that kind of life. And the ones that don't and have attentive helpful spouses? I don't want to know. Tee hee!

    Nigel, precious snowflake? That you are and I wouldn't have it any other way.