A Day Late & A Dollar Short

I've committed the unspeakable....yet, I choose to speak of it anyway. Yesterday was my blog birthday and I didn't blog.  It isn't this particular blogs special day but I started blogging one year ago on August 21, 2009 over at Searching.  Some of my best work remains over there and some of my best work from that blog had to be removed.  This blogging business has been quite the journey.

I began blogging at the urge of my husband to quit complaining about my actual job and do something to change it.  So I did.  The blog was a place to vent.  An avenue with which to try and make the decidedly unfunny, funny.  At first I made no commitment to writing on a regular basis and only felt I was 'good' if I was particularly inspired.  That has since changed and as such I feel I've grown as a writer.  The blog soon took on a bit of a life of it's own.  I've said it before and I've said it again, but it's mine.  It's been so long since something was so singularly mine.  I am possessive, protective and proud.

This has not come without cost. I have made some rookie blogger mistakes.  Like not choosing to be 100% anonymous.  Why is this a mistake?  I lost my job.  I blogged about work.  No I didn't name my place of employment or any of my co-workers nor did I say what my former profession was, but my name was on the blog.  With a little digging that would've all been easily found out.  Do I regret it?

Yes.

No.

I regret that I may have hurt some people's feelings that I didn't intend to.  I regret not recognizing and accepting and actively seeking a way out of a job that I was no longer good at nor was it good for me or my family.  I regret putting our family's financial well-being at risk. 

I am happy.  I can listen to my family talk to me again.  Confused?  At my previous job I would be so drained, tired, frustrated and physically and emotionally spent, there were days I didn't have anything left for the five people who need and deserve my attention most.  That's not fair.  I have received what I can call nothing other than beautiful support from my friends.  I have found something new to do that I am very excited about.  That is all I will say because I'm not putting this opportunity at risk. I have learned my lesson.

My blog has brought me even more support and more friends.  People whom I have no idea what they look like or for the odd one, what their real names are.  It doesn't matter. This is it's own little community and one that I am proud to be a part of.

So all that being said, Happy Belated Blog Birthday to Me!

Queen of Dentyne

So despite all my bravado about having been fired and not being overly upset about it today was a different story.  You see I thought I had a month to find employment and so while I've been looking I've been pretty relaxed about it. Already some of you are all "how stupid is she?" and "a month isn't all that long".  I know that but as I was expecting two full pay cheques to come rolling my way and I'm feeling pretty good about a couple of the jobs I've applied for, good enough.

Today though, the mail came and my little world came crumbling down. I got my pay stub.  And it's roughly $1300 short.  What. The. Fuck.  Turns out our sick time is pro-rated.  Actually I knew this but just didn't count on it impacting me at all.  I was wrong.  Thanks to the chicken pox fiasco of May and then my two weeks of stress leave in early July, I fell short.  So they paid me out for time I wasn't entitled to and tomorrow they're taking it all back. 

Funny story: my mortgage payment as well as my vehicle payment are both due to come out tomorrow.  That $1300?  Was going to take care of both of those and then some. 

Motherfucker.

Never fear kids, we had an umbrella for this rainy day I had kind of forgotten about.  It's an umbrella but it's cheap and therefore we can't really rely on it for long. Time to get serious about finding a job.  Whatever that means; as in I'm done with being picky.

My husband is super supportive and keeps reassuring me that I'm still better off now despite not having a pot to piss in.  Or almost anyway.

Less supportive was the woman I had to call to find out where the hell my money went.  She couldn't have been more bothered or annoyed or incidentally, enjoying her gum more, when I called.  Apparently she just needed time to savour her Stride or Dentyne or whatever the fuck was more important than my mortgage payment. I felt as though maybe she was judging me for having been fired when she is clearly so good at her job as resident cud chewer. *Disclaimer: this is NOT about anyone at my former place of work so settle down.

Fired? Yes.  Stupid? No.  Worth any less than Queen of Dentyne?  Definitely not.  Paying my mortgage tomorrow? Yes. Thank God. 

Ultimately this whole event has been life changing in a number of ways and I imagine, more to come.  Do I have any regrets?  Ah, that's a hard question because I'd like to be all confident and cocky and say absolutely not but as I also have a pretty decent reputation as an honest person, I can't lie.  So yeah, I have a couple of regrets. But mostly, I have my sanity back too and as far as I'm concerned?  Sanity far outweighs regret.