Monday, March 7, 2011

I Didn't Mean To

I have had an incredibly productive day on the home front.  And now I am exhausted and would kill for a nap.  This level of fatigue combined with four children and a sugar crash are a dangerous combination.

My day began with registering my youngest for Pre-Kindergarten.  Actually let's back that up.  The day began with getting everyone and myself ready and then driving my daughter to school, stopping for a much needed coffee, and then carrying on to the elementary school to drop off Reese (in Grade 1) and register Rhett.

We sat in chairs thoughtfully provided to us by staff and filled out paperwork.  Rhett sat between myself and one of my very best good friends.  My coffee, another one of my very best good friends, sat on the floor between Rhett and I.  Rhett was bored and wanted no part of this process this morning and was fidgety.  At least twice I asked him to watch out for my coffee.  Yes, I should have just moved it.  I should've have moved it because after the second or third time I told him to watch out, he said, in a monotone: "Sorry, Mom".

It took a minute to register and then I looked at floor and saw the rapidly spreading puddle of coffee.


So the vice-principal, whom I happen to be related too (kind of distantly), proceeded to bring me some paper towel.  You know, that brown stiff kind that has the absorbency of a paper bag.  Then he mopped up the remainder of the mess.

All the while, his thin wife, wearing make-up, was sitting across from my fiasco with her two clean well behaved little girls.  Rhett was relatively clean.  I am not thin nor was I wearing make-up and Rhett was doing his best to not be well behaved.  

This afternoon was spent cleaning while trying to keep Rhett entertained.  This means he "helped" me with the dishes and he "helped" me with the vacuuming and the laundry.  Then for whatever Godforsaken reason we had to 'race' across the living room floor.  Then we baked cookies.  Then finally, he relented and agreed to watch a movie.  I let him eat three cookies and watch TV.  Bad parenting?


You see, I'm still sober.  Had he not relented, I cannot promise that would be the case.

I did enjoy a cookie or two (five) myself.  Which explains the sugar crash.  You'd think I'd learn but given my proclivity for both sugar and alcohol, and repeated hangovers and sugar crashes, it's not happening.  This is the one area in life where I can honestly say I'm a slow learner.

Well, that and a great deal of sports-related topics.

Okay, well I just had to take a little writing break to hobble off the couch and state: "I didn't mean to have four kids either, but here we are" while putting Rhett on a time out.  His newest trick is blatantly disobeying us and then when we move towards disciplining him he pleads "I didn't mean to!".  So obviously, the best parents respond with a sarcastic comment regarding misguided family planning...

And I'm hobbling because my body reacts to financial stress by completely seizing up on the left side.  Isn't that fun?  So after sitting still here for the last twenty minutes, my gait resembles someone with a stick shoved up their you-know-what.

Never mind a nap.  Never mind a cookie.  I need something much stronger.  I need daycare!

And tomorrow, I get just that to allow me some uninterrupted work-time.  I've never looked more forward to work in my life.

So yes, daycare is the solution.  And maybe just one more cookie?


  1. I am peeing myself (as is my husband. Well, he isn't peeing MYself...Himself. That would just be sick) over the family planning remark!! Fucking priceless! Come talk to my kids, will ya?

    My son's kindergarten readiness meeting went like this. My son was in a small room with a faculty member. My husband and I sat outside in chairs meant for midgets. I'm sorry...little people. All the while, my son is SCREAMING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, "I DON'T WANT TO!!!" Apparently their standards at the school for kindergarten admittance are low because he was accepted.

  2. I am pleased to hear your husband is not peeing on you. No matter how funny he found that statement, that would be upsetting. Tee hee.

    I love your son's reaction. He is clearly a strong-minded individual. You've done your work Mama!