Monday, June 27, 2011

Cookie Monster is Not to Blame

My child is currently watching 'Super Why'.  This is a relatively new children's show as far as I'm aware and he likes it.  I am bitchy already and when I overheard some character on the show had lots their red basket with "lots of healthy snacks in it" I became irritated.

When I was a child, Cookie Monster ate cookies and I turned out fine.  I was not an obese child.  I'm a little bit of a chubby bunny now but this has nothing to do with Cookie Monster binging on cookies as it has to do with my sugar/carb/vodka/TV addictions.  None of which were fostered by Cookie Monster.  I was a skinny child.  My parents did not allow us Oreos, Kraft Dinner, any cereal except for Cornflakes, Rice Krispies, Cheerios, Puffed Wheat and once in awhile we had Alpha-Bits.

They were not mean. We didn't have Oreos because my mom baked her ass off all of the time.  If I was eating cookies they were homemade.  And believe me, I ate cookies.  I snuck cookies like a motherf*cker.  I became the queen of stealth.  Macaroni & Cheese was also a homemade affair.  As was bread. Pancakes and french toast made from scratch.

Chips and pop were a treat once in awhile.  Not an everyday staple.

My point is, my parents made these decisions for us.  So even though Cookie Monster was on his way to Type 2 Diabetes my parents had the forethought not to let us eat only cookies.  I know, I'm as blown away as you are.

The kids watching Super Why or watching the new and improved Cookie Monster enjoy cookies as a "sometimes snack" have little choice as to what they are being fed.  What four year old is going to say: "No Thanks Mom, I'll pass on the cookies and enjoy some baby carrots instead.  The weird big headed kids on Super Why only eat healthy snacks and I want to be just like them." ?  This does not happen.

The kids who this kind of propaganda is geared towards have no choice in the matter.  They don't go grocery shopping.  It's not their choice to have juice in their bottle but they'll drink it.  And if you gave your child juice in a bottle, yes I'm judging you.  Just as your small child will be judged by every adult that gets a look at their rotted out front teeth.  Pop is even better.

Where has all the common sense gone?  I admit I lost a little of it myself.  My children seem to require more entertaining then I'm prepared to engage in.  Then I flashed back to my own childhood and being told, under no uncertain terms, to play outside.  And so I did, probably after whining, but I usually enjoyed myself.  It dawned on me, then, that I can make my kids go outside and play and not feel guilty about it.  Seems pretty simple but apparently I get caught up in more parental guilt than I'm aware.  Which is scary because I don't want to raise any assholes and that what happens when the Juniors of the world are entirely catered to and never made to do anything they don't want to do.

Yes, my children are allowed Oreos, on occasion (to be honest this is largely due to the fact that if we kept them in the house all of the time I would easily weigh 200 pounds).  Kraft Dinner on many occasions.  Chips and pop remain a sometimes treat.  I try to ensure vegetables are a part of their day, even if it's just some cut up cucumbers at supper.  I make some stuff from scratch but am nowhere the baker or cook my mother is.  We could do better, as a family, with our eating and continually try to do just that.  And not because Cookie Monster no longer eats cookies all of the time or because the weird big-headed kids on Super Why eat healthy snacks and the Wonder Pets prefer celery after saving the day. 

All of this wisdom shared it should be noted that the fair was in town this weekend and by the time we got home, I was the one with a stomachache after molesting a bag of cotton candy, enjoying a soft pretzel, a large lemonade, a medium Iced Tea, one dry rib (they were burnt) and a couple of mini donuts.

Those Super Why kids would be really disappointed but given my head is pretty much in proportion to my body (I have a big head, literally, hats are an issue) and theirs are not, I still win.


  1. I'm not a parent but again, have to profess my deepest admiration to all parents out there. As my friends stumble through parenthood for the first time, I'm struck by how overwhelming it can be and I'm not talking the pregnancy and labor part. There is SO MUCH information out there and so many options. It all changes so fast too. One day a certain product is the 'it' thing and the next it's found to cause (insert disease/issue/disorder) here. Our parents and the generations before basically just did what they needed to and that was that. It's difficult but it does seem that common sense is no longer common and the harder we try to avoid or regulate or whatever the WORSE things get.

  2. I am so happy to not have to watch anymore kids' t.v. shows, because if I had to see Cookie Monster turned into a tool of the vegetable industry, I don't think I could be held responsible for my actions.

    The husband just told me about a kid he met recently who only ate McDonalds. Yeah. I don't think that's a viable option since THE KID HAS NO MONEY AND CAN'T DRIVE. Don't like what's for dinner? It'll be goddamn delicious in about 4 hours when you're starving.

    Parent who refuse to parent suck ass.

    [PS Thanks for stopping by my blog!]

  3. Hey Kittie, I couldn't agree with you more. It's become a serious case of trying too hard but at the wrong things. Junior is enrolled in every extra-curricular activity under the sun but has no concept of just going "out to play" with no guidance from an adult or troupe leader or coach of some sort.

    And Suniverse, I long for the days when I am no longer held victim to children's programming but at present it's a necessary evil. I do not have the strength to tell my children they cannot watch television. I enjoy pooping in private and TV facilitates such an endeavour.

    The food debate is on-going here too. I am making one meal and one meal only. Don't like it then make something for yourself or shut it and eat.

    And you're welcome! Enjoyed my stop immensely!

  4. the other side of shangela here - no offense parents but as society "progressed" and moms entered the workforce by choice or necessity that pair of eyes on the youngins went with them...and for that matter so did the mom's eyes next door and down the street when everyone knew everyone else and you were just a afraid of your friends mom as your own when they gave everyone shit for misbehaving (which was the responsible thing to keep the neighborhood rugrats in line-it took a village back then) - when the moms of the world went to work they took the from scratch cooking with them and trying to balance work and home those instant, quick easy and overly processed foods and the drive thru became the new hot lunch and 3 course dinner fresh baked desserts - not bashing moms for going to work but when this happened the dads apparently did not get the memo - so now we have a society of carb addicted never heard the word no latch keyed out of control tv/video game addicted zombies - yikes is this who you want to change your diapers in the nursing home? oh wait a minute there won't be anyone to change you in the nursing home...each generation that comes is more spoiled and has a lower work ethic than the last - looks like we will be living in our own filth......SO PARENTS OF THE WORLD UNITE MAKE SUPPER VEGETABLES INCLUDED AND SIT THE HELL DOWN AT THE DINNER TABLE AND EAT WITH YOUR full diaper thanks you...

    ps moms are cool and so are dads just observing society is all

    shangela out!

  5. I am so sick of everyone telling us how to raise our kids!! Not only are these shows that make Cookie Monster out to be the obesity monster but how about the games where everyone wins?? Everyone makes the cheerleading squad! We don't want to squash their little hearts so we say "yes, you little heffer who can't even lift your feet off the ground, you can be a cheerleader." Don't get me wrong...I can't stand cheerleading but how the hell are we helping anyone by having no cuts in sports and no losers in games? Life is not like that at all and kids are not going to ever learn that THEY are responsible for their own actions!! I watched Cookie monster all the time and unless there was pasta laced in those cookies, he didn't influence me at all!

  6. Shangela, you almost turned my Cookie Monster blog into a bit of a feminist piece. I agree with you, by the way. And yes women continue to bear the brunt of home management on top of their 40 hour a week jobs. Unless you're my friend Stacey and your husband cooks healthy delicious meals all the time but that is not the norm. Anyway, I thank you for your comments and HOLLAA to Shangela team work on the blog!

    Nicki-you're right too. Nobody fails anymore in school. Nobody gets cut. Everyone gets a medal/certificate/kiss on the ass. It's not helping anybody with anything. Tee hee-pasta cookies-there's an idea!

  7. I cant really comment on "Super Why" cause my kids are older.
    I do let my chihuahua watch sponge bob every morning when I leave for work.
    and that can definately be violent.

  8. Hey Kittycat,

    SpongeBob is pure nonsense and fun. Which is what children's shows are supposed to be. Your chihuahua will be a better dog for it.