Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Mood Swing Martha is Going to Toronto!

I am in what could very nearly be considered a good - I seriously was about to type about my good mood when my 17 year old male child phoned me from my vehicle.  He's out there looking for his new retainer.  The new retainer he needs because the dog got the other one when he left it on the arm of the couch.  We're all kinds of hygienic around here.  Anyway, my vehicle is pretty easy....Oh wait, it's in my purse.

Okay, Mood Swing Martha is back on an upswing.  Laughing at my own pseudo-psychotic episodes.  I spoke to my son like he was a blind idiot for not being able to see the RED case in the car.  Except it was in my purse.  Gosh, I'm a treat!

Anyway, I had a decent day.  This doesn't seem to happen all that often but today some good things happened.  One of them being I am off to Toronto in just a little over a month for a jewellery hawking conference!!  The farthest I ever go are the reaches of small town Saskatchewan and once in awhile I get to Regina and Saskatoon and I have been to Calgary and Edmonton but not even either of those places for about six years now. So Toronto?  Is going to be quite a thrill!

I will, however, be spending a lot of time with women.  Women I don't necessarily know that well and who will likely cringe if I speak in the manner I am accustomed too.  Like, for instance, I will try to stay away from the 'c' word and my other favourite, Motherf*cker.  See, I'm practising already by not using those actual words in this very post!  I will also try to curb my meanness and not mock every person I see who does not meet my standard of humanity.

Being that I will be in Toronto and have a new and vast population to choose from, this may prove more difficult than not swearing.  But I can do it.

I can do it because I will be by myself!!  I will not have any children with me or my husband.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love for us to be able to take a family vacation but I'm pretty excited about my own little getaway but know I will long for my family and my sweatpants by the end of my little journey.

I even wore jeans today.  Just to spice it up a little.  For about 4 hours and then it was back into the sweatpants I went.  Jeans are stupid.  At least when you have to sit down.  If you are standing and wearing heels, they are more fun.  But there is nary an occasion in my life at present that calls for heels.  Except Toronto!

And I will be dressing like a grown up every day.  Which may prove a bit of a challenge as these days I dress like a grown up about one day out of every four or five.  And for a few hours at most.  These will be full days of dressing in a semi-professional manner followed by even more dressing up for the evening.  I'm going to have to get some fucking Spanx. 

Look at me, I'm all giddy with my good mood over here.  And I haven't had a drop of alcohol.   Alcohol will hopefully be a part of next month's trip although again, I will need to be careful because my best gal pal Vodka and I become a little mouthy and mock-y.  So maybe I'll be a lady and drink a nice glass of white wine and mind my manners.

Anyone interested on making a wager as to my ability to be lady like for four days, in a row?


  1. Wouldn't touch that bet with a 10 ft pole. *g* Have a great time!

  2. Probably the smart choice but not as much fun! Thanks!

  3. Ooh, a vacation sounds fun! I really, really want to visit Canada one day. Honestly, I'm not even sure what there is to do in Canada.... but I want to go. Every Canadian I've ever talked to has been awesome, which must be a good sign for the country as a whole.

    Sometimes I say "aboot" around the house just for funsies. I think my new goal is to be an honorary Canadian.

  4. Hi Sara. You absolutely must come to Canada!! There is lots to do. If you're a sport-y person there's skiing and hiking and that crap. If you're not a sport-y person there are museums, galleries and tons of great music and shows. And if you're a drink-y person and if memory serves, you are, there is beer everywhere. Canadians like to drink and are good at it and are outrageously fun (those of us who aren't douchebags with ginormous sticks up our asses).

    Then you need to stop saying "aboot". I don't say aboot. I do say "pop" instead of soda. Try that instead. And watch hockey. That stereotype is very true. I'm not sure how far my powers of persuasion reach but as far as I'm concerned, you're now an honorary Canadian. To receive the official paperwork, please come to Moose Jaw!