Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I'm Not Your Bitch

I overreact.  I'm much like Chevy Chase's character from all of those Vacation movies.  My favourite is Christmas Vacation and I'm him.  I build things up in my mind and get all excited at how truly AWESOME and AMAZING whatever event, Christmas included, and then become increasingly distraught (read: bitchy) when it doesn't go as planned or anticipated.

I overreact on a daily basis.  If I were to frame this positively, I would say I am a passionate person.  This is true, I suppose but passion has it's time and place.  Like say when enjoying chocolate covered pretzels and milk, grape vodka and Sprite, and Jax from Sons of Anarchy.

Tonight, passion arrived when I was asking my son, who is 17, why he felt it was okay to leave the remnants of every snack he's eaten tonight on the counter.  His response, whilst lying in a prone position on the couch: "Oh, what, do you want me to run out to the recycling bin right away?"  This was said with more than a touch of sarcasm.  Sarcasm has it's time and place.  Like when I speak.  I prefer not to be spoken to in that manner though and least of all by my children.  Double standard or not, that's how I roll.  I advised him that at the very least he could throw out the plastic bag inside the box and then flatten it and leave it on the counter.  Here is how the rest of the conversation played out:

Him: "I'm not the only one who does it!!"
Me:  "Did I say you were the only one?  I know you're not the only one!  Did you want me to wait until I could get you all together and we'll have a family meeting about it?!"
Him: "Well you make it sound like it's only me."
Me:  "No, it's all of you because I'm all of yours [sic] bitch.  I'm work's bitch, I'm your bitch!"

This was said as I stormed up the stairs.  I stormed and fumed a little about poor sentence structure and my fast loss of control of the situation.  I came downstairs a few minutes later and he and I resumed a normal conversation about football.  He and I are one and the same in that manner.  Basically we can become instantly angered but get over it almost as quickly.  It works for us so don't judge.   And besides, if you start judging us we'll become angry again and then we're both huge assholes so it's really up to you... 

To be clear, I do not feel like I am "work's bitch".  Last week was a little rough but I do believe hormones played an unfortunate role in my perception of the circumstances.  I also don't really feel like I am my family's bitch.  Most of the time anyway.  I just became instantly annoyed at his annoyance with me.

And again, for clarification, being someones bitch and being a bitch are two very different things.  I am most definitely a bitch.  A smart bitch, a funny bitch, a mean bitch; take your pick, I graciously accept any one of these roles but that's where it ends.

Bitchy lunatic?  Yes. 

'Your' bitch?  No. 

'His' bitch?  Nope. 

Anybody's bitch?  Absolutely not.

I'm just me.  An exceptionally passionate woman who angers easily and relies heavily on sarcasm to communicate any thought, feeling and emotion she possesses. I've said it before, I'll say it again, my husband is a lucky man.


  1. I often feel like I'm work's bitch too. I mean, I'm a slave to the paycheck. I have to put up with the BS because I need money to survive. I'm certainly not doing my job because I enjoy it.
    That being said, I feel you - I overreact to a lot these days. I'm on edge. The worst part is that I never know how I will react. I used to be even keeled. Not no more! I blame age and hormones. I'd blame kids but I have none.

  2. Hey Kittie,

    I usually don't feel like I'm a slave to this job at all. It's a contract position and I am able to work from home, so really it's quite nice.

    And that being said, last week and this week still, I also feel like I have no control over my emotions and reactions to any given situation. It's super fun! Sometimes it provides amusement and sometimes it does not...Age and hormones shall be our bitches and take all of the blame without complaint!

  3. I'm a SAHM. It was my choice to stay home and I'm grateful I get to but there are times I feel like I'm just a maid so I totally get what you're saying. I get over it and realize I'm blessed to be able to stay home though.

    I am most definately a bitch too. I'm quite good at it. You're right. Our husbands are lucky bastards.


  4. Hey Nikki,

    Right now my bitch level is increasing exponentially because blogger is not cooperating. Grrr. Anyway, I do like being at home but it definitely has its ups and downs!

    Holla to the bitches & their lucky ass men!