Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Wet Dreams & Dead Cats, Oh My

I've always been a vivid dreamer.  I dream in color and remember the majority of what I dream about and it's like watching a movie most of the time.  My children appeared to have inherited this trait and I'm becoming concerned.

I am concerned based on the following:  My testosterone-ly advanced four year old.  He shyly shared with me yesterday morning the dream he had about "girls!"  He whispered most of this: He dreamt about girls and about their boobs.  One of the boobs apparently had a face on it.  Then to top it all off, another girl in the dream kissed him.  He was unusually shy in relaying this information and his voice became high pitched a time or two.  Does anyone know what it means if your four year old may be on the verge of wet dreams?  At four?  He's four.  What the fuck?

Then my seven year old, the same day, told me he'd had a dream too.  A dream that we went to the movies but that when the movie was over, it was time to "kill the cats".  We have two cats.  He dreamt about killing them.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Could it be that I have potentially raised a both a budding sex addict and socio/psychopath?  Which one is it that hurts animals as a child?  To be clear he doesn't hurt animals.  He merely dreamt about hurting animals.

Maybe it's time I return to the workforce because being a stay at home mom appears to be having a negative effect on my children.  My oldest child began daycare at the tender age of two weeks because high school stops for nothing.  Not even birth.  My daughter began daycare at six months of age because after taking two semesters of university off to have her, it was time to get back to school, again.  Reese & Rhett, my special little "dreamers" have had the most time at home with me and look where it's gotten them! 

The two who began daycare at arguably the most formative of ages?  Well one is currently on an Outdoor Education trip where he was chosen as one of the navigators because his teacher has great faith in him.  He's also going to be one of the Captains of his school's football team this coming season.  The other one is on the Principal's List  and a member of the Junior SGA (Junior Student Government Assembly or something like that).  She's also on her school's soccer team and acted in every play/musical the school put on this year.

Dreamers?  One sleeps with his eyes open and has a serious obsession with Justin Bieber.  The other?  Gets a little better every day at not having his hands in his pants and talks incessantly and if the opportunity arises, he cops a feel of my boobs and then announces "I touched your boob."

I guess two out of four isn't bad...

Right?

4 comments:

  1. LOL. Oh man. Reading this makes me terrified to have children one day. I have no clue what I would do trying to raise a boy. I know NOTHING about boys. I've already informed Andy that he will be in charge of teaching our future son(s) everything about their penises because EW.

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  2. You're marrying a boy Sara, that's all you need to know. There is not a great deal of difference in raising boys and girls. Except for the penis obsession, of course!

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  3. I'm a new follower, and I'm so glad. I just had a little boy, and his daddy is exactly how you described your little dreamer. Now I'm worried. I guess I better keep following you for any advice I may need down the road!
    Jordan at http://momandmearebusybees.blogspot.com

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  4. Hi Jordan, thanks for following! No need to worry-you married your husband after all, which is reassuring to me and must mean my little dreamer will hopefully spend his life with an understanding woman too ;)

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